Without a doubt, health complications. It literally never occurred to me that our child might not be healthy at birth. Hospital stays (five months total so far), surgery, co-pays, prescriptions, weekly or monthly therapy – these things cost a lot of money. Much of Baby M’s care has been covered by insurance and state subsidies due to her health status (she is considered disabled because she is tube-dependent) but that will not always be the case – we’ll have to foot the entire bill in the near future. Unlike choosing whether to live in a high cost of living area or a low cost of living area, or even choosing what job to take and whether to ask for a raise, you cannot predict the health of your child and you have no choice but to seek out the best treatment available. Before getting pregnant I would get the absolute best insurance I could afford – the one with the lowest max out-of-pocket and most coverage in my area.

Also, you’ll hear that if you downsize one income, your expenses will go down as well (commute, business clothing, meals out) but we didn’t find that to be true. We already ate most of our meals at home and I didn’t need a fancy wardrobe for my job. Instead, we now have to heat the house all day because we’re home, so it was pretty much a wash in terms of expenses – we just lost the income. It was still surprising how much we haven’t missed it in terms of the essentials.

Babies are pretty cheap to have, generally. I can clothe her for an entire season for $100 (consignment sales), they don’t eat much (and if you breastfeed, it’s basically free) and we’ve got more toys and books than we can handle thanks to relatives. When she’s older I expect I will notice expenses other than medical stuff for her, but 14 months in, there aren’t that many.

How many kids does T want? It sounds like he’s not really pushing the issue, which is good. It sounds like five years is a magic number for a lot of people!

Timing is definitely personal. I recall you didnt’ always want kids – am I wrong? I may be thinking about somebody else.

Mid thirties is much older than I want to be when I start trying, but I understand why you’d want to wait that long. I know what you mean, I always wish my brother would settle down and have kids before me!

I think 5 years married is a good goal. I would hate to have to be a new parent all by myself. You want to share that special time with your significant other, and plus, it wouldn’t be very easy.

You didn’t want kids at all? Interesting. And then you ended up pregnant! But I guess people change their minds 🙂 I want daughters too, very cool that you got what you wanted!

THIS.

T has made it clear he’s ready whenever, but I still don’t feel anywhere near ready, not to mention the finances! We’ve already been together 8 years, but we started young. I want to own a house first, and enjoy living in our own home alone for a year or two before a kid comes along, so realistically we’re talking another 5ish years.