Without a doubt, health complications. It literally never occurred to me that our child might not be healthy at birth. Hospital stays (five months total so far), surgery, co-pays, prescriptions, weekly or monthly therapy – these things cost a lot of money. Much of Baby M’s care has been covered by insurance and state subsidies due to her health status (she is considered disabled because she is tube-dependent) but that will not always be the case – we’ll have to foot the entire bill in the near future. Unlike choosing whether to live in a high cost of living area or a low cost of living area, or even choosing what job to take and whether to ask for a raise, you cannot predict the health of your child and you have no choice but to seek out the best treatment available. Before getting pregnant I would get the absolute best insurance I could afford – the one with the lowest max out-of-pocket and most coverage in my area.

Also, you’ll hear that if you downsize one income, your expenses will go down as well (commute, business clothing, meals out) but we didn’t find that to be true. We already ate most of our meals at home and I didn’t need a fancy wardrobe for my job. Instead, we now have to heat the house all day because we’re home, so it was pretty much a wash in terms of expenses – we just lost the income. It was still surprising how much we haven’t missed it in terms of the essentials.

Babies are pretty cheap to have, generally. I can clothe her for an entire season for $100 (consignment sales), they don’t eat much (and if you breastfeed, it’s basically free) and we’ve got more toys and books than we can handle thanks to relatives. When she’s older I expect I will notice expenses other than medical stuff for her, but 14 months in, there aren’t that many.

THIS.

T has made it clear he’s ready whenever, but I still don’t feel anywhere near ready, not to mention the finances! We’ve already been together 8 years, but we started young. I want to own a house first, and enjoy living in our own home alone for a year or two before a kid comes along, so realistically we’re talking another 5ish years.

I should probably stop saying “5 years” when we hit 4 years so people kind of forget about that timing! I don’t want a bunch of questions about when we’re going to have kids if we’re having trouble conceiving/carrying a pregnancy. I don’t mind them for now because it’s all theoretical.

I don’t think you should take the step because others say so. We traveled a lot (and will resume travels as soon as possible – we actually plan on taking her to a seaside resort when she’s 7 months old), are on a good financial place, we are a good couple etc. When you’re time is right, you’ll both know it 🙂

I wasn’t concerned about infertility either, until it happened to me. It was a terrible blow. I was 30 when I got pregnant, but it turns out that I would have had problems conceiving at any age, and we’re not sure I’ll be able to do so again without interventions. I am very glad we didn’t wait any longer, not because of the fertility aspect of it but because the increased risk of health problems for mother and congenital defects for baby are very well documented in older women (and that’s age 36 – not “old” at all from where I sit now!).

Our financial goals were completely re-written with the birth of our daughter, but we’ve managed to do the big things like pay off our student loans and remain consumer debt free, and all on one income. That’s the #1 biggest thing I would recommend couples take into consideration instead of timing – regardless of the mother’s age, you absolutely cannot predict complications with the pregnancy or birth, and no one is guaranteed a healthy baby. It took a huge weight off our shoulders that I am able to stay home and care for our daughter while she is still a medically complex child, even though that was never the plan originally. If we needed two incomes to survive before her birth, I can’t see how we could possibly have managed afterwards.