What this means, is that I spend a lot of time in my day job screening people out of opportunities that they have expressed interest in, and a lot of time in my spare time studying exactly what it is that is holding so many of us back.

I don’t believe that the cause of women’s issues lands squarely on women’s shoulders, but I do think that we have to take responsibility for some (if not many) of the things that limit us in the workplace and in our relationships.

Often, our behaviours is what hinders our potential, security, and success. Our behaviours can hold us back from getting that promotion (even if we earned it), getting the recognition we deserve, and getting what we want.

These are behaviours that I see over and over again with women of all ages, but particularly of the millennial generation. I struggle with them too. We need to learn to get past these four deadly sins.

Lack Confidence – And Show It

We’re all a little unsure of ourselves at times. Some days, we don’t wake up feeling like Superwoman.

Whether we feel that we bit off more than we can chew, or we’re just having an off day, lacking confidence in ourselves is a huge barrier to our own success. There’s a difference between lacking confidence outwardly, and strategically hiding our doubts.

Have you ever met somebody who just seems so sure of themselves? They do things with such ease and confidence, things that you would be shaking in your boots to do? Like those people who go up on stage in front of 500 people and carry out a presentation or speech effortlessly, without even a single stutter?

They’re nervous. They are not 100% confident in their ability to deliver that speech, despite their calm demeanour.

Fake it until you make it. Practice your “I know what I’m doing” attitude in the mirror, whether you are starting an internship or your on the first day at the job, or whether you’re trying to not make an ass out of yourself in front of your new boss. It’s an attitude that comes with practice, and you need to know how to fake it so people can take you seriously and you can get ahead.

Use Language That Minimizes Your Contributions and Achievements

 Which sentence sounds better, more professional, like it’s coming from somebody who you would respect and take seriously?:

“I’m not sure if I’m on the right track but I actually just thought I’d take a second to see whether this statement in the report is right? I just thought it happened differently.”

“I noticed that this statement in the report is mis-worded.  It supposedly happened differently”.

I don’t know about you, but I think the first one is a statement from a person just begging you not to take them seriously. You “just” wanted to do something? Is it that minor? You “actually” thought? Is it a surprise that you were thinking and analyzing the report?

There are a lot of things wrong with the first statement, and it minimizes the person’s contributions. There is a great article on this on Huffington Post.

Let People Put Their Needs/Wants in Front of Your Own

 A sure-fire way to make sure nobody takes you seriously is to let people bulldoze you. Women, in general, get a lot of flack for exhibiting the same behaviours that men are respected for. If a woman is direct and firm, she’s described as “bitchy”. If a man is direct and firm, he’s described as “smart” and “powerful”.

We’re all wading shoulder deep in gender stereotypes (including men), so lets start rejecting them and standing up for ourselves.

You’re not a “bitch” if you tell somebody who cut in front of you in a line that they cut in front of you. You’re not being “catty” or “dramatic” if you stand up for yourself if somebody is attacking your idea at work.

On the same note, stop being everybody’s assistant. If you take on assistant type duties (making the coffee, taking your coworkers papers to be filed), you’re single handedly stunting your growth. Studies show that women are more likely to pick up the assistant type tasks, just because they see that it needs to get done and nobody else will do it. STOP. Somebody else will do it. If you don’t, there will be others.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t help people out, but don’t sequester yourself into a role that is not yours.

 Don’t Protect Yourself

Here’s the thing. I’m a practical person. I love my boyfriend, but I have seen many, many couples divorce and split up. It’s sad, but it happens. Nobody gets married thinking “Hey, if it doesn’t work out, there’s always divorce!”; but you’ll never meet a successful company that doesn’t have a contingency plan, and you should have one too.

As women, we have a duty to ourselves; we must protect ourselves. I believe that each member of a couple should have their own RRSP, own career (even if one of you has to put it on hold for a short while for children or dream chasing), own car (or method of transportation), and own emergency fund. You may not hold the same beliefs, and that is fine, but if you don’t, then find another way to protect yourself.

I’m simply saying that no matter how in love you are, and no matter how good things are going, protect yourselves. Nobody else is going to watch out for you if anything happens.

It’s sad to see so many women stunt their own growth and undermine their capabilities, even subconsciously.

4 Ways to Hinder Your Potential, Security and Success (For Women) is a post from: When Life Gives You Lemons. Did you like the post? Follow me on Twitter, like me on Facebook, or hop on over to my blog and leave me your feedback.