Comments on: Would You Charge a Friend or Family Member to Be a Surrogate For Them?

By: 7 Ways to Secure Your Future | When Life Gives You Lemons

7 Ways to Secure Your Future | When Life Gives You Lemons — Fri, 16 Aug 2013 13:41:52 +0000

[…] Other options like surrogacy can be even more expensive, even if you get a family member or friend to be the surrogate. […]

By: Daisy

Daisy — Sat, 13 Jul 2013 14:55:33 +0000

In reply to K.

Hi K,

Thanks for stopping by 🙂 I appreciate the comments. My post wasn’t meant to explain the process or even ask anybody what it was, but just to find out that IF possible, would you ask for money to be a surrogate. There are many countries that don’t allow for surrogacy compensation, and there are many barriers to the process and people have different biases and opinions. Essentially I wasn’t asking whether people would or wouldn’t do it (which I addressed in the post), but whether IF they did it, and IF possible, they would accept compensation for it (all barriers to this aside).
Thanks so much for educating some of us about the process, though, as it’s certainly interesting.

By: K

Sat, 13 Jul 2013 04:06:58 +0000

A lot of you seem to be very unaware of the whole process. I am a surrogate for my sister, in Canada, where you cannot pay surrogates but you are still expected to compensate for lost wages and cover any pregnancy related costs. You cannot be a surrogate if you have never had a full term healthy pregnancy and there are different types of surrogates. I am a gestational surrogate, which is more common, which means the eggs used were my sisters. The babies I am carrying are not mine, they are hers. I will not have any trouble handing them over to her. I have my own child and these two are hers, end of story. And for those of you who say you wouldn’t want to do it because of what it would do to your body, well that’s just ignorant and you have clearly never had children. My body was not the same, it was actually better, three months after giving birth to my daughter. My skin looked the same and I weighed less. Our bodys were built for this and women have been doing since our existence.

By: K

Sat, 13 Jul 2013 03:51:04 +0000

In reply to KK @ Student Debt Survivor. No you can't be a surrogate if you have never had a child before. It is too expensive to gamble on someone who cannot prove they can have a full term healthy pregnancy. I know this because I am currently a surrogate for my sister.

By: Randell Sandoval

Randell Sandoval — Wed, 10 Jul 2013 04:54:11 +0000

For us, we didn’t tell any family (other than our kids) that I was going to be a surrogate until after I was matched…don’t remember if our contracts were done when I told my parents or not. For my parents, I was “armed” w/papers explaining surrogacy as well as a copy of my IP’s profile, so that my parents could sort of get to know them too. They weren’t even phased when I told them. They know me well enough to know that I research the crap out of EVERYTHING before making a big decision. They were wonderful and very supportive. (and they loved that I was matched w/a gay couple) I told my mom’s side of the family at a graduation open house for 1 of my 2nd cousin’s. While I don’t see them all that often, they hear things through the grapevine and I do see certain one’s on occasion as we live in the same town. As they are “older”, I wasn’t sure how they would react, but all of them were very supportive and encouraging. Now, my MIL knows as she lives w/us, and my FIL and his side of the family know that I’m a surrogate, but they don’t know I carry for gay couples. That I think would be too much for them to handle. They are supportive of me being a surrogate, but just don’t talk about it much at all. The ONLY negative reactions I’ve ever gotten were from non-family members.

By: Jess

Jess — Thu, 20 Jun 2013 02:15:23 +0000

I actually am a paid surrogate for a couple right now (for the second time – I delivered their daughter last year and am expecting their son in 6 weeks). That being said, after this, I would only consider it again for a very close family member, like a sibling. And although for my siblings I would be willing to carry their child for free, there would still be significant costs to them, since I would not be willing to bear the additional related costs (which can be significant). Being pregnant is a lot of work, and there’s a lot of things I’ve had to do (or limitations I’ve had) that I haven’t even had with my own children, so I don’t feel bad accepting compensation. However, for one of my siblings, I feel like I would be more willing to make the sacrifice without any compensation (as would my immediate family, since my being pregnant is work and stress on them, too).

By: Crystal @ Prairie Ecothrifter

Crystal @ Prairie Ecothrifter — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:17:21 +0000

I would probably charge something for the time I would have to take off work there in the last month and right after birth. So covering that “vacation time” and the medical stuff would be enough for me. I don’t know if my husband would be okay with it though…he’d definitely be left with a different…ummm…playground than I would have had before hand. 😉

By: Thomas at Your Daily Finance

Thomas at Your Daily Finance — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:38:08 +0000

I would say YES. After what my wife went through for almost 9-10 months. Why would a person even expect you’d do it for free they should come to you saying I will pay for you to do xyz. Its a lot of hardwork and effort then to ask the woman to give up the baby talk about the emotional problems the could persist.

By: Greg@ClubThrifty

Greg@ClubThrifty — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:49:10 +0000

With that said, I obviously would not be the one carrying the baby…:)

By: Greg@ClubThrifty

Greg@ClubThrifty — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:48:45 +0000

Holly also loves the Kardashians, so no judging here. I’d say that I think it depended on the situation. Obviously, medical costs and lost wages should be paid for. I’m not sure if we would charge the baby rent though.