{"id":6380,"date":"2015-02-09T06:42:25","date_gmt":"2015-02-09T14:42:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/add-vodka.com\/?p=6380"},"modified":"2015-02-06T13:43:55","modified_gmt":"2015-02-06T21:43:55","slug":"separate-or-combined-finances-as-a-couple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/add-vodka.com\/separate-or-combined-finances-as-a-couple\/","title":{"rendered":"Separate or Combined Finances as a Couple?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a>Valentine’s Day is a big day for wedding engagements, and while having separate or combined finances as a couple isn’t a topic that’s likely to be discussed on that romantic occasion, it is worth talking about before getting married.<\/p>\n Whether a couple shares or hides their finances from each other, or at least each person has a separate account for discretionary spending, finances can be a big part of a new relationship.<\/p>\n A recent survey by Citi found that 24 percent of Americans in a committed relationship have a private account that their significant other doesn’t know about. That’s a fair amount of hiding something from someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with.<\/p>\n Many more, however, share finances, with 82 percent saying they share their financial life with their significant other, and 88 percent of couples having complete access to at least one of their partner’s accounts, the Citi survey found.<\/p>\n The good news, whether they\u00a0have separate or combined finances as a couple, is that being with someone can change your financial habits. The Citi survey found that 82 percent changed their financial habits, 60 percent are more careful with their discretionary spending, and half are more focused on long-term financial planning.<\/p>\n There are a number of ways to deal with finances as a couple, especially as an engaged couple planning on getting married who have some time to work things out.<\/p>\n “Getting to know each other fiscally is just as important as getting to know each other sexually,” says April Masini, a relationship expert at AskApril.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n Here are some things to consider when deciding if you should have separate or combined finances as a couple, or a combination of both:<\/p>\n Are your financial habits compatible? “When a spender and a saver marry, the idea of a ‘mixed marriage’ takes on grand proportions,” Masini says. “This can be a huge conflict, so try some fixes.”<\/p>\n “Don’t pass judgment on how your spouse likes to spend,” she says. “If he loves video games and she loves shoes, make an allowance for those fun items.”<\/p>\n Pick an amount, such as $500, and agree to consult each other before making a purchase greater than that set amount, Masini recommends.<\/p>\n If $500 seems to big, lower the threshold to $50 or $100. Whatever amount you set for your separate finances as a couple, be sure to discuss the expense when it gets to the level you agreed upon.<\/p>\n <\/a>Danny Kofke<\/a>, a retirement consultant in Georgia, says starting to combine all accounts on the day couples get married helps the couple as a team, and has worked in his marriage.<\/p>\n “This has worked well for me and my wife and enabled her to be a stay-at-home to our two daughters for nine years despite living off my $42,000-a-year teaching salary,” Kofke says.<\/p>\n Combining your finances as a couple helps “accomplish more together than they would ever be able to accomplish individually,” says Ken Rupert<\/a>, a life and financial coach who has been married 22 years.<\/p>\n “Combining finances creates communication, trust, and a sense of collective accomplishment,” Rupert says. “Money is a trust issue. If trust is an issue before marriage, it will be an issue after. A lack of trust in marriage results in hurt feelings, deceit, and eventually divorce.”<\/p>\n If you’re joining every other part of your lives, why not finances? That’s the thinking of David and Jill Ilgenfritz of Hamilton, Montana, who married in November.<\/p>\n David, who started a business called Citizen\u00a0Threads Co.<\/a>, isn’t drawing a salary yet, so the decision was easier for him.<\/p>\n “In the end I think it comes down to trust and transparency,” he says. “When people maintain separate checking accounts, credit cards, and sign prenups before marriage, it starts you out on rocky soil.”<\/p>\n Combined banking accounts required them to be completely transparent with their spending habits, David says, and ensure they’re both held accountable while allowing them to save for things like trips, savings and investments.<\/p>\n If one person has significant assets or debt before getting married, such as through an inheritance or large credit card bill, they may want to consider keeping them separate among their finances as a couple, says Sandy Arons<\/a>, a financial divorce specialist.<\/p>\n “If either spouse has significant separate assets, it is best to keep premarital funds either separate or make copies of monthly statements at the time of the marriage,” Arons says. “Put those copies in a safety deposit box for safe keeping. If a divorce should happen in the future, the value of the premarital funds is known.”<\/p>\n Doing the opposite of combining finances as a couple may be best for some people. Michael Greaney, a certified public accountant at Equity Expansion International<\/a> in Washington, D.C., says mistakes happen, even with the best of circumstances, and “overdrafts are too easy if two or more people are writing checks on the same account.”<\/p>\n “Speaking strictly from an internal control point of view, a married couple should always maintain separate checking accounts, although each one may include the other as an authorized signature for emergencies,” Greaney says.<\/p>\n After two divorces, Debbie Curtis<\/a>, a freelance writer in Ithaca, N.Y., says she recommends not combining accounts when married.<\/p>\n “Thank God my checking account, and my credit rating, were my own,” says Debbie Curtis, who has divorced twice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Curtis’ first husband was vindictive, she says, and tried to run over her with her own vehicle that were registered under his business name but that she had bought.<\/p>\n “Thank God my checking account, and my credit rating, were my own,” she says. “I didn’t take a thing in the divorce settlement because I was afraid of him. But I had what little money I’d saved, a job, and my credit rating, and I did get my vehicle back eventually.”<\/p>\n As Masini suggested at the start, a combination of separate and joined accounts can work well for couples.<\/p>\n A joint account can be used to pay household bills, and each person can have a separate account for individual expenses.<\/p>\n “Whatever system you\u00a0choose, choose it together and make sure both partners know what\u2019s where,\u00a0and what the priorities are,” says Kevin Gallegos, a consumer finance expert and vice president of Phoenix operations for Freedom<\/a> Financial Network.<\/p>\nDealing with finances as a couple<\/h2>\n
Spender or saver?<\/h2>\n
Consult on big purchases<\/h2>\n
Combine all accounts<\/h2>\n
Major assets or debt?<\/h2>\n
Totally separate finances as a couple<\/h2>\n
Separate and combined<\/h2>\n
Keep your own credit card<\/h2>\n