Marriage is a big deal. Even though movies and pop culture make it seem as if you can just get married and not worry about anything bad ever happening, the truth is that around

And did you know that one of the most common reasons for divorce is finances? So instead of getting married and divorced over your financial situation (or beliefs), here’s why you need to talk about your finances before getting married.

Shows Your Money Personalities

You’ve probably heard about the spenders and savers, but there are also other money personalities. There are people who are in between a spender and a saver, who like to save money but don’t mind splurging on the things that they love and care about. There are people that are on the extreme spectrum of being a saver, and they will hoard massive amounts of money in fear. There’s even the type of people that you would consider “minimalists” in which they spend what they need to survive, and donate the rest.

While none of these personalities are necessarily bad, they can clash if they are met with someone with a completely opposite personality. If you’re a saver but your future spouse is an extreme spender, you may run into a lot of financial fights later on down the road.

When you talk about your finances before getting married, you are able to see each other’s money personality and figure out if you mesh well together.

Helps You Realize Strengths & Weaknesses

Do you find yourself scared to spend money in fear that you’ll need it one day? Does your significant other budget really well? Talking about your finances before getting married is a helps you realize both of your strengths and weaknesses.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. But it’s important for you and your partner to know about each other’s and be able to work through it all together.

Avoid Awkward Conversations Later

What would you do if you got married before you realized your partner had $100,000 in student loans? What would you do if they didn’t plan on paying them off? For some people, this may not be a problem, but for others, this could be a huge deal. You may feel left out, or feel like your partner lied. You’ll wonder if these loans will put a damper on your savings or retirement. You might just be plain mad about it.

When you talk about your finances before getting married, you’re saving yourself the time and awkwardness of finding out the “secrets” that your partner may be keeping from you.

Allows You To Get On The Same Page

If you talk about your finances before getting married, you’re getting everything out in the open. This allows you and your partner the opportunity to get on the same page. Some couples like to combine finances, some don’t, and neither are wrong. But when you and your significant other can come to an agreement and know what is expected of you both, you’re able to go into marriage a lot more confident in your finances.

Keeps You From Taking Things Too Far

You should never base the happiness of your relationship on money alone. However, If you’ve talked about your finances with your partner and realize that you two aren’t compatible with each other, you can take that chance to end your relationship before getting too serious. No one wants to be left in a house they can’t afford. No one wants their credit score to drop and have debt up to their eyeballs because of a divorce.

When you talk about your finances before getting married, you’re giving each other the opportunity to walk away NOW. Before things get too serious and finances become intertwined.

It’s important to talk about your finances before getting married. It can save a lot of hassle and keep you from fighting over menial finance problems in the future. Talking about money doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, it should be one of the most important things to talk about before tying the knot.

Why You Need To Talk About Your Finances Before Getting Married is a post from: When Life Gives You Lemons. Did you like the post? Follow me on Twitter, like me on Facebook, or hop on over to my blog and leave me your feedback.

As someone who writes about personal finance every week, I of course thought back to the money lessons I’ve learned during marriage. Some, such as saving for retirement and investing in mutual funds, may just be from getting older and aren’t entirely attributed to marriage.

But other money lessons I’ve learned were either from my wife or something we came across together as a married couple. Here are five money lessons I’ve learned while married:

Joint accounts

In the months before we got married, I asked a married couple we were friends with if we should have separate or joint checking accounts. I was leaning toward separate accounts, figuring we’d split the bills and pay them together, as a couple.

But that sounded too much like having a roommate. Our friends said that having a joint account was best because once you’re married, everything is shared and her money is his and vice-versa. Your money as a couple is commingled and it doesn’t matter where it came from when you’re paying life’s expenses. Two people become one, at least where money is concerned.

We’ve done that as a couple. Our joint checking account is used to pay our bills, and our joint savings account is used for emergencies and other purposes.

Still, a little separation

Everyone needs their own space, however, and a separate bank account can be a good thing in a marriage.

Why? Everyone needs a little spending cash in their pocket, and a separate account to draw on from time to time for purchases you want to make. This can be because you either don’t want your spouse to be aware of them, or the joint checking account only has enough money to cover the family’s expenses.

We each have separate accounts with enough money in them so that if something comes up that we really want — books are my common go-to items — then we can buy them without the guilt that our grocery budget is going to take a hit or there won’t be enough money in the bank to pay the mortgage this month.

Discuss the big expenses in marriage

We don’t have a set dollar amount that one of us can spend without consulting the other, but an expense of a few hundred dollars is the general area where we usually discuss it together as a couple.

This happens for a few reasons, the main one being that we don’t have enough of a family income to support large expenses without the other person agreeing to it ahead of time. If a big electric bill arrives and I go and spend $300 on new clothes, then we might have trouble paying that bill.

Another reason is to avoid surprises. I’m sure my wife doesn’t want to see me roll up in a new Porsche that I’ve just bought by depleting our savings account when that money is needed to pay property taxes and other expenses. However, if I’ve somehow saved for that car by squirrelling away money in my separate savings account for years, then that’s a possible purchase I’ll do solo. Doubtful, but possible.

Spend more if it makes your spouse happy

Maybe I’ve watched too many House Hunters shows on HGTV, but it often seems to have couples who disagree about how much to spend on buying or fixing up a house. He’s a cheapskate who wants to cut costs at every corner, and she just wants a nice kitchen that includes more than a hotplate.

I haven’t been married for an incredibly long time, but 17 years of marriage and being a cheapskate myself have taught me that if spending a reasonable amount of money above and beyond the norm will get my wife what she wants, then it’s money well spent.

We recently hired a contractor to redo our upstairs bathroom. I wanted quality components that wouldn’t break or fall apart in a few years, so I told the contractor to always buy quality items that were around the midpoint of what was available. If he needed to, spend the extra money to get the better quality faucet or whatever.

Make your expenses count

Partly as a joke, I used to tell my wife when she went to the farmer’s market or grocery store to stop and buy herself some flowers as a way to remember our marriage. I’ve tried to stop doing that and to instead go buy the flowers myself.

That small expense of marriage is more about the effort of remembering to get her flowers than it is the actual cost of the flowers.

Because marriage is the daily thought of someone you love, making small but thoughtful acts toward your spouse should be natural. But we all need reminders.

And it doesn’t have to be anything that costs you money. It can be as simple as opening the door for them, cooking them dinner, or giving a compliment. Or it can be as easy as remembering to buy flowers.

5 Money Lessons I Learned in Marriage is a post from: When Life Gives You Lemons. Did you like the post? Follow me on Twitter, like me on Facebook, or hop on over to my blog and leave me your feedback.