Other than people that are stuck in the ice age, most of us buy things for ourselves every once in awhile. Whether that is a DVD, a new computer, the new iPhone 4s, a pair of jeans, or even just a plant for the house and some Christmas decorations, few of us never spend money on ourselves.
I was at my boyfriend’s parents house over the long weekend. I call them my in-laws since BF have been together for 4.5 years. So I was over there, and I’ve always thought their house needs a little updating.
They have the same carpet as when they bought it – in the late 70’s. In fact, that same carpet since the house was built in the early 70’s. The “tile” (it’s overlay) in the bathrooms and kitchen still have the mustard yellow color that was so popular in the 70s.
The kitchen has never been touched. Even the fridge is the same as when they first bought it. It is well kept, in good condition, but still original.
Even the furnishings and items in the house have been there since they bought the house. Either J’s grandparents gave the stuff to them when they moved out, or they bought it for themselves when they first moved out. They have never bought so much as a new pot or new set of flatware.
On the long weekend, MIL told me that she had the chance to have a larger dining room table. When I asked her what she meant, did she find one that she liked? She said that her grandmother passed away and they asked her if she wanted it. She said no, because it was too big for their house, but it struck me as interesting.
She said that remark like she wasn’t able to have another dining room table ever again. They’ve had that table since possibly before they bought that house. She didn’t even lend to reason that she could buy a bigger one; it was either she had it given to her, or nothing.
It is true that my boyfriends family have always been frugal to the extreme. They spend money on very little. They don’t have the internet; they’ve never had it. They didn’t even have a computer until his mom’s friend got a new one and gave them her old, circa-1995 desktop.
They don’t pay for heat, they have a wood stove. They don’t have cell phones; they use a land line (and even then, very sparingly). Cable was never an option. They have the two free channels, but not for long since everything is going digital.
They only have one (running) vehicle, an old but well kept truck. They’ve had it since my boyfriend can remember. His dad uses it to get to work.
This lifestyle is easy for them, since it’s all they have ever known.
As I’m sure you can imagine, they have no debt and don’t even owe on their mortgage. This all strikes me as interesting because, while I would never personally want to live to that extreme, even when some people have to, the option doesn’t even reach their radar.
A friend talked about declaring bankruptcy when her first baby was just about due because either her or her husband would have to stop working to stay home with the kid. They hadn’t saved for their pregnancy and child birth, and they were up to their eyeballs in debt. I was being told this over a Starbucks latte. When the topic switched, she talked about the extremely high end, expensive stroller the tyke was getting. They followed that conversation by going to Whole Foods (AKA Whole Paycheck – the most expensive grocery chain in the province).
While I shouldn’t judge, because I’ve never been in their situation, I know that if I were in their situation, I wouldn’t be buying lattes or the most expensive stroller on the market. Heck, I’d be buying a used (but good condition) stroller, and be shopping at Walmart while eating vegetarian meals as much as possible.
Maybe the key is to be just happy with what you have. Maybe my mother and father in law are on to something, without knowing it.
Could you live like this?
One of my best girlfriend’s is sometimes frugal to the extremes. She has a cell phone (but it’s not a smart phone) and she asks that no one text her b/c she doesn’t want to pay for a text message plan; she reuses plastic containers from the deli counter instead of buying tupperware; and even though she has a car, she always asks for a ride… trying to save on gas? Oh, and she lives at home and has never paid rent. Sometimes I’m jealous of the part where she’s never had to pay rent (think of the $$$$!) but some of her other behaviours drive me bonkers. Either way, I know she has zero debt. Jealous!
And I would definitely cut back on my expenses before ever considering bankruptcy. That’s just not an option.
Bankruptcy is meant to be a last resort, so yes, I would go to extreme measures to get out of the situation before bankruptcy is required! Declaring bankruptcy isn’t a way to get the slate wiped clean and to continue on your merry way of accumulating debt again through expensive food and strollers. People just have a certain amount of cognitive dissonance and denial that keep them thinking they can just declare bankruptcy and everything will be fine for the rest of their lives.
I can’t imagine living like your FIL and MIL though, that’s taking frugality to an entirely different level!
I definitely agree. I’d love to see more people take control of their lives and own up to their financial mistakes, but that’s not how things work all the time unfortunately. They’re different, that’s for sure!