I was 20 when I decided I needed a change.
I was living in the town in which I had grown up, working in a dead end job, and taking a program in school in a town that had no prospects for successful post-graduation employment.
I was depressed and de-motivated.
I spent my weekends partying with friends instead of working on my relationship with my (then) boyfriend. Everywhere I went, there were people that I went to primary, middle, and high school with. They were all doing the same thing as I was – making no real progress, working in dead end jobs, taking courses that would get them nowhere in the town we lived in.
It was sad. I was sad. I needed a change.
I began to get angry. I tried to find a job so I could gain some experience in my chosen career path, but the small town was chock-full of students who needed employment, and no companies to employ them.
At the job I did have, I’d have to sell retail items to my childhood frenemy’s parents; my customers were my former bosses and teachers. I was stuck and I needed a change.
I convinced my then boyfriend (now fiance) to move around 4 hours away with me, to a much larger area. When we moved, I started really living.
I enrolled myself in a degree program, after having resigned myself to only getting a diploma in my hometown. I started a blog, and started making some passive income. I applied for and got three internships to help my progress in working toward getting a job post-graduation.
I made new friends, developed a much stronger relationship with my significant other, and began being healthier, fitter, and happier than ever before.
Did Moving Change My Life?
On the face of it, moving changed my life. It improved my quality of life an unbelievable amount. I would hate to think about where I’d be if I stayed in my home town.
The opportunities are much better in larger cities. The education can also be better, as you are learning from industry experts who have actually worked in large, corporate environments.
Despite the outward appearance that the city I lived in changed my life, I don’t think that this was actually the case. What really changed my life is change itself.
Change is Powerful
In my hometown, I was stagnating. How can you grow and change, when your surroundings always remain the same? The same people, places, things, jobs.
By uprooting my life in my home town and moving, I forced myself to confront change in a big way.
Not only was my immediate living situation changing, but so were the faces I’d see everyday. My friend circle changed. My employer changed. My surroundings changed. Even my opinions began to change. I began to be more open minded and liberal. How can you be open minded and liberal when the people you interact with every day are straight, white and conservative?
Because my fiance and I took this immense change together, it helped us grow our relationship beyond what it may have been if we stayed in our hometown.
Because I got away from the people I had known all my life, I was forced to make new connections with people who had very different mindsets and personalities, challenging me to examine my own and think outside of the box.
Because I experienced the discomfort of being in a highly educated city with very little post secondary education (and high, high prices), I was forced to evaluate what I wanted in life and tackle my career head on.
Because I changed where I live, and therefore everything about my life temporarily, I changed my life.
Change Prevents Stagnation
I’m not saying everyone needs to move to a different city to live your ideal life. Change wears many different cloaks.
If you find yourself going day to day, but are craving progress and growth, make yourself a little uncomfortable.
Travel. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and exposes you to new things (and no, week long all-inclusive vacations is not travel!)
Move. Even within your current city. A change of surroundings can breath some fresh air into your routine.
Switch jobs. It’s uncomfortable to have to get used to a new job and new co-workers. We like discomfort.
Seek new connections. Preferably with people you wouldn’t normally consider connecting with. As different from you as possible, the better.
Learn something new. If you consider yourself very left brained, take a photography or art class. Explore new things, and new things will come to you.
I grew up in a small town. So glad I moved away during college to a bigger city. Opportunities are better. Yes, cost of living is higher, but I wouldn’t have the same opportunities.
It is so important that we experience the world around us and not stay in one place forever…not necessarily physically move but doing anything out of your comfort zone. I also went back to school after getting a bachelor’s degree I didnt love and am so much happier! I met amazing people and more importantly prooved to myself what im really capable of.
Totally agree. The first time I moved, I moved to a city pretty similar to the one I grew up in. Yet it was life changing. I met new people (including now-husband), tried new things, and learned more about myself. Big cities can provide opportunities, but just a change of environment was enough to open my eyes.
The next time I moved was to Hong Kong, then back to similar-city in the midwest, then to L.A. and now to SF bay area. In Hong Kong I discovered travel love, girlfriends, clubbing, IKEA and California Pizza Kitchen. In L.A. I discovered the mountains, running, love of a career, and beach city life. I’m not sure what SF will bring, but I hope something good. Moving here was TOTALLY uncomfortable, and while I hated it, I also knew it would probably bring great things.
I was also 20 when I realized that I needed a change, so I joined the U.S. Air Force. They sent me to several locations for training and then to my work location near Washington, D.C. The Air Force then paid me to attend college at the University of California, Santa Barbara. I found my career job and my wife in the SF Bay Area. All that change in my twenties was good for me.
What is that saying “Without change there would be no butterflies” or something like that? I agree that change can easily be the biggest catalyst for great things. It’s crazy that so many people are scared of it. I also grew up in a small town, left for college, and somehow ended up back in the same small town. But I have employed a few of your suggestions to keep things interesting.
I am constantly looking for new things to learn, and I’m really working on making new connections. I’m glad the move worked out for you, otherwise I might have one less blog to visit!
Ok, all of you guys are writing posts that are freaking me out!! It’s like the Universe is speaking to me via everyone’s blog posts. I have worked the same job for a number of years and I am stagnating. I know it, I can feel it, and I’m concerned about it. This year I will be making some decisions regarding the next step for me and the direction I want to move towards in my life.
Sign me up for more of the travel change! I need to get some of my ideas going, to change things up for me. I seem to have too many things on the go, but not enough of them getting to completion. *sigh*
I’ve moved several times in my life, a lot of them coming as an adult, and I really enjoy the invigorating feeling moving to a new city can have. It can be scary, but amazing. We moved to Nashville, and because of that I met tons of new friends, got a new career, new degree (almost done), and was able to save more money because it was cheaper. People are afraid of change sometimes, but change is a good thing a lot of times.
Such a good post and story! I moved a lot after high school and learned a lot and changed a lot. Right now I’m somewhat happy in the city where my family is and where I know a lot of people, but I’ve thought about moving in order to change things up and change my life. It’s just an idea right now but it might happen at some point!
I’m vigorously nodding my head in agreement to everything you suggested to change. I can’t imagine how people were born and grew up in the same town/city, went to the same schools, grew up there and raising their families there. Change IS good. I’m so glad I went away to school, backpacked through Europe, hiked the Machu Picchu and moved to a house in a different town.
Travelling, and I mean really travelling, changes your perspective of the world. I’m really not a big fan of all-inclusive vacations. I can only sit by the pool or beach for so long.
Yeah, moving was a huge change for me too. I’ve it twice. Once to New York, then to Abu Dhabi, and both times it was an amazing choice for me. Abu Dhabi was the more difficult move and living here is still very difficult, but most likely entirely worth it. I honestly thought I’d be here for like a year, but now I find it hard to imagine moving back to New York ever. I might adore NYC, but there are just so many more opportunities abroad. America as a whole is rather stagnant and confining… which I never expected to truly feel, haha.
Change is like a caterpillar who became a butterfly. Change involves changing everything in you. This change of life that we do can have great impact in our future. I really love your article Daisy. Thanks much for sharing this.
It is very nice to feel when you were successful on the changes you wanted for your life. It was nice to drop by your blog Daisy and I love your article. You’re a great writer.
I was born in Warsaw, the capital of Poland. And I have to admit that I had quite nice life over there. I moved to Switzerland (actually to France) because of my boyfriend. He is not from my country but we met in my city when he had his contract over there. He loved that place, spent there around four years and then, because of his job, he had to move to Switzerland. That’s why I am here now. Did it prevent anything? Am I happy because of that move? Hard to say because as I said, I had wonderful time when I was in Poland. But this life here is nice as well. Close to the mountains, good salary, possibility to have bigger savings than it would be in Poland. I’m not sure if it’s perfect. I feel homesick sometimes, I miss my family and friends, I don’t spend enough time with them. I don’t complain because there is no reason to do that. I’m just saying that every move like that has it’s price. It’s not worse. It’s not better. It’s just different 🙂
This post really hit the nerves to the brain here. Currently, I am in middle of moving into a bigger space that just fits my needs and wants at this point in my life. The eye-opening benefits of a satisfying move matches to your description of opportunities in a new-way of living. Another tip of when a person feels great about a move is when he or she feels a time of change through acceptance on the two locations in their journey: Location A as moving-out place and Location B as moving-in place.