Learning from Your Awkward & Embarrassing Life Phases

Let’s not assume men aren’t crazy in their own way. But as much as I hate to generalize, I’m wondering if I can choc up these awkward and embarrassing life phases to being a female in the workplace.

If you are a woman in the professional workforce, perhaps you, too, have experienced very strong, completely opposite reactions to the phase of life you’re in. And no doubt you 100% felt those feelings when you had them. But then they left and you just didn’t feel that way anymore.

Here are four that I wish I didn’t want to share out loud, but feel compelled to:

The Oh My Gosh My Job Is Amazing phase

I left an unfortunate job as a classroom instructor and landed a job in the government contracting industry. My memory of the first few weeks is literally a sensual haze of freedom, as my schedule went from stressfully trying to make a bathroom break in the five minutes between classroom bells to deciding whether I wanted a French Roast K-Cup or a Twinning’s Tea K-Cup. I went with the French Roast (and then Starbucks).

Of course, this dream-haze ended a few months later, and the job-doldrums struck, because the odds of finding your dream job your first or second time around is very small.

Career tip: until you find a job that is the right productive, creative, and social fit for you, you simply are not in the right place.

The Oh My Gosh, Someday I’ll Get to Stay Home with the Kids and You Have to Work Forever, that’s so Depressing, Honey Phase

I apologize to my highly literary and professionally successful female friends who have probably never considered giving up their career for a family. For a moment there (or about three months), I was burdened by a sense of guilt that I would obviously stay home with the kids and make Sesame Street character cupcakes while my husband slaved away at a 9-5 the rest of our lives.

Career tip: Allow yourself to go through phases. If you act on this impulse and plan to quit your job the minute you get pregnant, the phase that swiftly followed this will kick you on your butt.

The Oh my Gosh, Someday I’ll Have to Stay Home with the Kids Phase

Yes, I want kids, and I want a lot of them. But I also want to write. And travel. And have a schedule that involves not looking at a baby that I made 24/7. It’s obvious that the best way to balance two full-time jobs is to make one or both of them part-time jobs.

Career tip: You can do it all. You just can’t do all of it all. Motherhood (and fatherhood) is a full time job. So if I want to write and work and travel, I will need to outsource parts of those jobs. When I have children, I will need to focus less on my career. And when I have a career when I have children, I will be focusing less than 100% on my kids. Both of these “jobs” have outsourcing possibilities.

The I’ll Never End Up Like That Phase

Every once in a while, I’ll get in a prideful mood and sigh for the poor folks stuck at boring 9-5 jobs for years on end, thinking that will never happen to me. I mean, surely I am destined to be successful and famous with all my at-home projects, right? Because hot glue and flower clips make people rich and independently wealthy, right?

But alas, I worked a 9-5 for a long time, and who am I to say I won’t try it again? And who’s to say everyone’s dream is self-employment and endlessly creative projects? (Though if it is, here’s the post for you). For some, a stable job is the height of success, and if that works for them, I’m the wrong one.

So, here’s the final career tip: be careful about judging others. And if you have dreams beyond what you are doing with your life now, act on them. Immediately. Or you’ll end up just like that.