I find that in the personal finance blogosphere, there is a lot of intertwining with self improvement blogs and I think that by tracking our spending, budgeting, investing, and working toward financial goals leaks into other parts of our lives as well.
I know that keeping myself accountable through this blog has inspired me to be more healhty, better myself, work toward a fulfilling career, and work with a goal in mind.
While striving toward betterment is good, sometimes we just have to let our ideals go, lest we burn out, get goal fatigue, or overwhelm ourselves. I constantly have a million things that I’d like to improve running through my head.
I want to:
- Blog more
- Blog better
- Create another blog
- Grow my blog
- Grow other blogs
- Get better grades
- Take better courses
- Learn more
- Cook more
- Eat less
- Eat at home more
- Eat healthier
- Work out more
- Work out harder
- Drive less
- Be more eco friendly
- Walk the dog more
- Spend more time with the boyfriend
- Be nicer
- Be a better co-worker
- Be a better friend
- Make more friends
- Make more money
- Network
- Volunteer
- Donate
- Do yoga
- Do pilates
- Learn a language
I really could go on forever, but I find that sometimes I start to work toward other people’s ideals and goals instead of what I, myself, value.
We can’t all travel for months and months every year, make a ton of money, run several websites, and have dinner on the table every day. Some things are just unrealistic and some are things that we don’t even want to do; by holding ourselves to somebody else’s standards, we are doing ourselves a disservice.
I’ve realized recently that sometimes, letting go of some of our ideals is what really allows us to reach the ones that are the most important. That sometimes, it’s okay to go through the drive through for dinner because you’d rather spend some time in front of the big-bad-TV watching reality TV instead of chopping and sautéing and making our own laundry soap.
I’ve realized that sometimes, forcing yourself to go to the gym doesn’t feel OMG SO AMAZING, and just really tires you out. Sometimes, getting a good night’s sleep is better than getting straight A’s and that good friends will stick around even if you’re up to your eyeballs in life and you haven’t seen them in months or answered their texts or looked at their Facebook page.
Sometimes, wearing the same shirt twice in a row is worth it for a night of reading the Hunger Games instead of doing laundry, and second-day-hair has to happen.
Sometimes, the dog goes unwalked (but is always thoroughly loved), and the boyfriend gets ignored because I just thought of a post idea, dammit, and I must write it now!
Sometimes, it’s okay to feel a little stabby if somebody suggests you give up caffeine because oh, you’ll just feel so much better, and it’s perfectly acceptable to spend a whole evening browsing the humor section of Pinterest and busting a gut because the last thing you want to be doing is writing an 18 page paper of A quality.
Sometimes, letting go of ideals is all that keeps us sane, even if it’s just for 45 minutes (the duration of Teen Mom) and they snap right back into your head after the time is up. If those ideals, or goals, or visions of success are important enough to you, they’ll get done. The best thing you can do to reach a goal is give yourself a little leeway.
Lets face it, some days a slice of pizza just feels better than another spoonful of quinoa 😉
This is a great post at a great time for me (and of course that’s what it’s all about, me me me!). Last night I had six things on my to-do list – I totally empathise with the Type A non-stop mustdomustdomustdo feeling – and I spent most of it in front of my computer reading trashy romance novel reviews. Not even trashy romance novels – trashy romance novel reviews.
Stalker = scary! I hope everyone’s all right!
Hyper Type A Control freak in the corner raises her hand…. can I have my list back now please?
OMG yes, this post is so true! I felt like I was looking in the mirror. At any given time, I have between 3-6 to do lists on the go… I set daily goals… I have monthly goals… I have annual goals…
And some days, I order take out (on my credit card – GASP!) and play board games with my kids. Not often, but hey. Life happens.
Great post, Daisy! Hope your friend is doing OK.
Your coworker definitely doesn’t have it all – she’s just trying to make herself feel better by talking a big game. Hang in there, your honesty is better than her big fake game!
When I saw your list my eyeballs almost popped out of my head. I might suggest prioritiziation. 🙂
Note: The link to the bloggy friend with a stalker didn’t work for me!
We PF bloggers do tend to focus a lot on self-improvement, don’t we? I think it’s because when we’re looking to improve our lives, financial well-being is one of the first things that comes to mind.
You make a good point that we need to figure out what is important to us and focus on that instead of valuing what our coworkers or the world values.
Your coworker sounds kind of full of themself! You’re a great person Daisy and I always think that you have it all.
I am one of those people who put a lot of expectation on myself. I have had it bite me in the butt before with burnout and exhaustion. I have no started approaching things with more balance and I am much more reasonable with what I expect myself to do. It is a work in progress but I do find I feel a lot better and am less stressed.
Don’t make the same mistake as me. You are doing great.
I’m the same with goals. Life is not all about accomplishing X number of things though so I don’t beat myself up when I slack off once in a while. Your co-worker seems a bit full of herself though. I typically stay away from folks like that.
You know, Daisy…I bet your coworker often wonders how Daisy does it all! You might be doing things that she wonders how you have the time or energy for because she’s so busy eating perfectly and frequenting seminars. I agree with you about not living up to other people’s ideals. Meet your own goals! Great post.
It can be really easy to get lost in goals, which only leads to feelings of guilt for not completing them. Like right now…I woke up this morning with a goal in mind, and then I made the mistake of logging into my blog. Two hours later, I still haven’t touched what I intended to do this morning, but I’m happier when I’m blogging, and that’s what counts. I’ll get to what I was “supposed” to do eventually.
I think we all do the “comparison game” from time to time. I know that when I do, it makes me feel inadequate so I try my hardest not to do it. I do the best I can, and that’s good enough for me! 🙂
That coworker sounds pretty annoying. I find that the people who need to rub that kind of thing in your face are just very self conscious and are desperate for reassurance that their life is as great as they want to think it is. Really they are probably not happy inside and feel that something is missing. You’re right that you don’t have to constantly strive to go after your ideals. Life is too short to be always chasing living what is supposedly the perfect life. Take time to do other things that make you happy and just allow you to relax. People don’t have to be perfect.
My wife has a co-worker like that, she sees through the BS though. It’s just like keeping up with the Jones’. Some people want everything to look good on the outside, if they would just worry about what makes themselves happy instead of what others think of them they could be truly happy. Really love this post.
The to do list of someone with a Type A personality often gets out of hand. There’s so much we WANT to do. It’s impossible to get everything done. And you know what? That’s okay.
Tell your coworker to go be perfect someplace else. I’m a big believer in doing what’s best for you. And if “making chicken stock or eat quinoa” isn’t what’s on your priorities right now, then so be it! It’s alright to learn from others and take what we need to get done the 40 things that are on our mind, but other people’s accomplishments in no way inhibit how far I set my own bar.
Aaaaaamen. I seriously think that all of those things are worth giving up just to do what you want to do, what makes YOU happy. I used to be the type of person to give myself grief and beat myself up if I skipped the gym or if I wasn’t on top of all of my chores. But you know what I play video games sometimes instead of cleaning and I watch too much TV when I have a long list of to-dos. But it makes everything more fun and tolerable!
Daisy, are you sure you don’t work in the US with me? I used to have a co-worker who did the same thing. I made the mistake of mentioning that I hadn’t done something and she went on and on and on about how great everything is for her and how she does EVERYTHING PERFECTLY.
That’s called freedom. Freedom to let go and simply live. Life is not an event with a bunch of rules imposed on us by outsiders. Instead, it’s a game that requires us play on our own terms, provided that we don’t infringe on the rights and freedom of others. Period!
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Also your coworker is a jerk.
For the record, I hate quinoa. I don’t get it.
PS. You’re co-worker is a liar. 🙂
I just loved your post today – thank you so much for it. Just reading it has made me feel better and reminded me to give myself a break. I literlly carry around my ‘list book’ with me so I can write down and remember everything I need to do / or want to do BUT sometimes it is worth it to not do anything!
Thanks again!
You have A LOT of things you’d like to do… I think everyone does. They all seem very realistic and achievable.
I myself would like to better myself as a person, in school and in my career.
Things take time and I feel like even sometimes hard to measure. Trying sometimes just doesnt cut it, you have to do! Don’ make any excuses about why you can’t. I know I do this all the time.
Amen! I’m a 100 mph speed racer when it comes to pretty much everything I do. Not a perfectionist but I go full tilt on pretty much everything – including relaxing wasting time. When I waste time, I WASTE IT!! I watch trash TV or just sit and do nothing. And when I relax, I can feel my sides dig into the couch…
Ideals are great. But sometimes you definitely need to just let go.
<3
I thought I already replied to this post earlier today but now I can't find my comment.
I don't think your coworker has it all.. she's dropping the ball somewhere. I think we all struggle, sometimes in every area all at once but usually we just perform better in somethings and not others and then it switches the next week.
I eat poorly, I don't get enough sleep, I don't exercise as much as I should, I make mistakes at work, I'm an awkward dater but I'm also all about forgiving yourself for the times you fall short and just trying harder the next day. I've long since gotten over what everyone else is doing and I feel better for it.
This is a great post <3 I love the hunger games and teen mom over most menial "productive" tasks that are "good for me" haha
I think people who brag about how perfect their life is are trying to compensate for something. Most likely her life isn’t as great as she makes it out to be.
I absolutely can relate. I call it “being too hard on yourself.” I am the same way: I want to do this and that and then some more. What happens if I don’t do it, I get disappointed and simply burn out. Do your best and relax a little. 🙂
I am a lot like you because I am a complete perfectionist. No matter what I do I am always going to think I can improve somehow.
Now let’s get to my to-do list. My work/personal list is so long I’m not sure I’ll ever finish it. When I complete something I tend to always add another right back on to the end.
I have found that to be all too true. It is all too easy to let our goals control our lives. I have found it to be much easier to make a mind map and focus on one thing at a time. It seems to be much more productive and less stressful.
I don’t have much to say…I’m just sitting here smiling. 😀
Thanks for this. Great post.
It really sounds more like you are defining what your ideals really are instead of letting them go.
Rules are made to be broken. It’s good to have goals, but it’s not fun to have days filled with same mundane tasks that are not inspiring. Do what your heart wants. period!
I LOVE your list–seems a lot like mine, which often get LONG and out of control… I love this new Google extension called Do It Tomorrow— so I can flip some things to the next day and so on. The master list I keep in Google Docs, LOL. 😳 My lists make my husband nuts.
I stand by the theory that if people think they are the shit, they are likely a piece of one.
Keep on rocking as wonderful you.
Maybe there is something really crappy happening in your coworker’s life and she’s trying that whole “fake it until you make it” thing to convince herself. Just an idea. Great post Daisy. 🙂
JUST DO. That is the most important thing. People paralyze themselves with fear of what may happen if they do something. Don’t just do your best, JUST DO!!
Thank you for posting this. I feel a lot better 🙂
Somtime life just gets in the way and a little leeway is all we need.
Oh, my goodness I’m so glad you exist. And that you blog so that I know it. I was looking through your goals and realized they’re exactly the same as mine…and my list goes on, too! I put them in my day planner, but never in one, comprehensive list like this. I saw how long it was and was like, “Um, no wonder I’m stressed?” I gotta give myself some give. You’re awesome!
Yup yup yup. As much as I strive to do, sometimes it feels so damn good just to sit on my ass all night. I think in the future I’m going to try and remind myself that I’m the only person who gets to decide whether I’m successful and that I don’t have to live up to anyone’s ideals.
Living up to others’ expectations is never easy. Better just to be realistic about what you can get out of life.
AMEN! That’s all.