Vintage Post: Why We Don’t Combine Our Finances

Since switching from Blogger to WordPress, one of the things I’ve missed the most is having my old posts hanging out on this domain. So every once in awhile, I’ll post a vintage post. These posts were written months, sometimes even over a year ago and were never on this blog. It’s interesting to see how things change in a year!

January 16, 2011

As of right now, the boyfriend & I have been together for 3 1/2 + years, and have lived together for over 2 1/2. We have separate finances.

Here’s why we don’t combine our finances:

First of all, we’re not married. We will be some day and when we are, I’m sure we will combine finances for the most part. I’m not against combining finances in the least bit. For J and I, it might be the right thing to do, it might not. We’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it, and we’re going to be traditional and not even get to that bridge until we’re married.

Secondly, he makes a lot more money than I ever have. I am not embarrassed to admit that, when I did have a full-time job, I made about one third of what he did. He made around $30/hr, while I made around $10-$11/hr. I don’t think it would be fair to him if we combined finances while he’s making so much more, as I think he’d be scared to spend what he wants to spend because he knows I can’t. On top of the staggeringly little amount of money I did make, I used to be terrible with money. Which brings me to my third point:

I used to be reckless with my money. I know! Surprise! I think that’s what made me smarten up. My past with money has made it so that I used to spend without any sort of inhibition. I had two credit cards both maxed out (around $3,000 worth of credit card debt). I would feel terrible if he could contribute to our bank account every month, and had to deal with my financial liabilities. So, even though now I’ve smartened up a ton financially, I get fairly uneasy with him being able to save more than me.

Last but not least, we’re not even close to being on the same page financially. While I have taken to saving every last dime, he saves simply because he doesn’t have much to spend money on. While he likes to go out & buy tools, I have to spend money on tuition.

While I budget, make goals, and look at the long run, he lives day to day. While I want to start an RRSP, savings accounts, and investments, he just wants all the money sitting in his checking account. We’re both saving for a common goal, which is to buy a home, but even with that common goal, we’re still not on the same page.

But because of these things, when we combine finances, I want to be on the same page. He has an RRSP from his employer, but he doesn’t contribute any more to it. He doesn’t get the whole emergency fund thing, but he has savings anyway which are liquid, so I just refer to that as his emergency fund. Guys.. he doesn’t even know about this blog. I know. I’m a terrible girlfriend for not telling him about something that I write in every day, but I don’t think he’d be very interested in it, and I’m okay with that.

But if we’re not on the same page financially now, what about later on? We have no dependants, but when we have kids, we’ll have to be on the same page financially. He’s a fairly flexible guy. I’m sure if I want to save up $10,000 above our EF’s & other savings before we have kids, I’m sure he’ll be fine with that and work with me to get there. He understands my financial situation, and also understands my need to be independent from him – I want to be able to pay my own bills, pay my own tuition, etc. and he respects that. So, for now, it’s not for us.

Do you & your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other combine finances? Why or why not?