Wedding Gift Tips and Tricks

This is a post written by Rachelle Gunnarson, an expert on all things wedding and gift giving. I’m on vacation, so if you want to guest post please email me at addvodka (at) gmail (dot) com.

When you receive a frilly wedding invitation in the mail, you might have one of two reactions; you might roll your eyes and shudder at the idea of watching your crazy aunt to the electric slide, or you might get giddy at the idea of free booze, cake and favors. If you fall into the latter category, you might be disappointed to find out that all the complimentary goods will certainly come at a cost. With the price of the outfit, present, transportation and more, you might find yourself bewildered if not flat broke. Below are the answers to common questions that come with attending a wedding.

How Much Do I Need to Spend on a Gift?  The philosophy “it’s the thought that counts” does not apply to purchasing wedding presents, as the couple is forking over plenty to feed and seat you as a guest. It is suggested that you spend at least $75.00 on your gift and, the more friendly you are with the couple, the more you are expected to spend. Of course, this is a recommendation rather than a rule so, if it comes down to paying rent for the month of splurging on an espresso maker, the newlyweds will surely understand. If you have inkling that your pockets might not be so deep when the wedding arrives, offer your assistance with DIY tasks. You can also give cash, instead of purchasing a gift. Don’t worry, it’s not tacky!

Are there exceptions? Yes, plenty. If you are going to a destination wedding that requires you to spend lavishly on a flight and hotel, the gift can be more sentimental and less pricey. Furthermore, if you are a member of the wedding party who has spent significantly on items like bachelorette expenses  as well as her flight to Vegas for a bachelorette shindig,  your actual wedding gift can afford to be slight. Believe it or not, what is not an exception is if you don’t attend the physical wedding! Yes, according to set customs, you are expected to provide a gift regardless.

Do I need to get something from the registry? Not necessarily. Yes, the bride and groom gave you a specific list of items they’re guaranteed to like, but that doesn’t mean that those are the ONLY offerings they would appreciate. In fact, something intimate and personal might even be more valued! It is becoming more and more common for guests to disregard the list. A little piece of advice if you do want to select items off the registry: jump early so you aren’t left choosing between inexpensive coasters and outrageously pricey furniture.

I was asked to be a bridesmaid; what kind of expenses should I expect? Perhaps the bride will be kind enough to pay for your dress, hair, makeup, jewelry, shoes and overnight hotel stay . . . but most likely not.  Be upfront with the bride about any financial concerns so you don’t find yourself later looped into footing a bill you just can’t handle. Looking good is not the only cost, as you’ll most likely have to chip in for the bachelorette party and might be asked to help organize (and pay) for the bridal shower. With costs like food, booze, limos and party favors to worry about, this can easy cost hundreds (if you travel to a different destination, don’t be surprised if you end up spending thousands).

I’ve given gifts at the engagement party and bridal shower . . . do I really have to give a wedding gift? The wedding is where the magic happens, so the couple will certainly be expecting a gift for their wedding day. This being said, make sure you don’t overspend on previous presents, so giving them a thoughtful, quality yet small item that is $25.00 – $30.00 will be more than sufficient.

So there you have it – some insight into basic questions that help price how much money you have to spend for your friends to be happily married. However, keep in mind that there are merely suggestions and that you don’t have to fork over a single dime if you don’t want to. However, if you attend the wedding with a substantially lesser gift, don’t be surprised if there is a little drama, much like this gentlemen who came bearing marshmallow fluff.