One of the reasons that keeping up with the Jones family down the street is so tempting is because, from the outside at least, they often give off the appearance that they are healthy and wealthy. They have shiny new, or at least gently used, cars in their garage. They have a nicely kept big house with a pristine, manicured lawn. The inside of their home looks like it just came out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine issue, and the whole family is always dressed to the nines in the latest fashions.
I’m sure after reading that description you can think of at least one individual or family that fits the mold.
Have they every evoked feelings of jealous deep inside you? Have you ever wanted to be as successful as their appearance makes them out to be?
It’s okay to admit it, I think we’ve all been there at one point or another, but we need to keep in mind that underneath all that exterior armor that they put up so they may appear to the outside eye to be “making it”, lots of these families are struggling financially to keep up the appearance that they’ve created.
But how can you get escape these jealous feelings and quit trying to keep up with the Jones family? Here are a few tips.
Recognize Who They Are
Knowing who the Jones’ are in your life is a great place to start. When trying to figure out who the Jones’ are in your life, keep in mind that there’s likely more than one person or family that is making you feel jealous of their appearance.
For me, my Jones’ include a couple of my co-workers, my best friend and her husband, and even my parents at times.
Quit Caring What They Think
One of my favorite PF blogs, Frugalwoods, had an excellent article on their site a few weeks ago suggesting that we just stop caring what other people think about us and our appearance.
“Letting go of caring enabled me to figure out what I really want out of life–not what society wants out of my life. And, as it turns out, society doesn’t care what I do with my life.”
Once you stop caring what people think about your appearance, you’ll be free to quit spending money on anything and everything: make up, tons of new clothes, fancy cars, big houses, lunches and dinners out at restaurants, over-the-top vacations, the newest technology gadgets, and everything in between. Instead, you’ll be willing and able to spend money only on the things that you care about rather than what others care about or what will create the appearance of “success” in your life.
I know this is easier said than done. After all, this is still something I’m struggling with myself. It can be hard to give up on creating the appearance of wealth, especially when that’s what you’ve been around you whole life. If your parents are the type that always wanted to keep up with the Jones family and all your friends are doing the same thing (or they are the Jones family in your life), it can be hard to break that mindset.
What steps are you taking to help yourself quit trying to keep up with the Jones family?
Irony! I just wrote about this same subject (just added a link to this post, BTW – it was so fitting!) today, and Ruth wrote about it on Fruclassity as well! Too many individuals and families have been destroyed financially and otherwise by trying to keep up with the Joneses.
That is ironic! Thanks so much for linking to my post, I really appreciate it and I’ll be sure to check our your post and Ruth’s too. 🙂
Wow, I’ve been seeing this kind of post all over Bloglovin today – I’m wondering if it’s spring (new beginnings) making people think about the way they do business. Like what Laurie and you have said, it’s terrible trying to compete with the glossy magazine picture of people’s lives. You can intellectualize that they have their own ups and downs but it’s hard to understand that emotionally. Cheers!
I had no idea it was going to be such a trending topic today, haha. It has been all over my Bloglovin feed too. 🙂
Thank you so much for mentioning my post, Kayla. I really appreciate that! I’ve found it to be so very freeing to just forget about the Joneses altogether. I love the message you’ve got here!
Thanks Mrs. FW – I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
Keeping up with the Joneses is just dumb, and a waste of money. Apart of becoming financially fit is learning how to be yourself and live within your means. So if you have to sport the same outfits every once in a while so be it. I am more worried about my bank account then to worry about what people are thinking about me. At the end of the day, things don’t define who I am…just saying.
These are great points Petrish! Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend 🙂
I like the point you make that the Joneses in our lives are probably several people. I might find myself envying the Better Homes and Gardens beauty of a neighbour’s house, and the amazing travel experiences of a friend, while at the same time drooling over the wardrobe of a colleague. I try not to assume that the people I have envied are living beyond their means or trying to impress others. My strategy is to look at what my envy tells me about me, and to answer the questions, “What unmet desires does this envy point to?” and “How can I fulfill those desires without breaking the bank.” I appreciate the fact that you acknowledge it’s still a struggle for you not to care and not to compare. I’m with you in that struggle, but it looks like we’re both getting there : )
You make such a great point. I love that you don’t look at how their purchases necessarily affect them (though I hope they aren’t living beyond their means), but rather that you take the time to figure out why you are jealous of them and their stuff in the first place.
I like to ride my bike to walmart/grocery store and make sure I wear crappy work out clothes. I certainly do not feel wealthy at all when I pull up, but I do like to smile to myself that I saved a few bucks and got some exercise by simply making the choice to ride a bike rather than drive my car.
Small, but useful way to keep me from trying to keep up with the (rat race trapped) jones’s
Great ideas Brian!